Wolves v Southampton: Premier League – live!

wolves-v-southampton:-premier-league-–-live!

65 min “This Theo Walcott kid is good!” reckons Peter Oh. “Heck, England should take him to the next World Cup!”

63 min Semedo knows he dropped a gargantuan body-part there. No switching off looks like anything in a post-Basaksehir v Man United world, but believe me it was a goodun.

61 min That wasn’t part of Wolves’ plan, and they now need to force things sooner than usual. I don’t think it’ll be long before we see Neto.

59 min VAR has a quick look to check that Armstrong didn’t foul Ait-Nouri and decides that he didn’t, which he didn’t.

GOAL! Wolverhampton Wanderers 0-1 Southampton (Walcott 58)

Armstrong does brilliantly to battle for the ball down the left, keeping the attack alive and moving it to the middle, where Djenpo clips over the top. Adams then does really well to cushion across, and Walcott taps home at the back post with Semedo grabbing a quick lebowski. That’s Walcott’s first Southampton goal since 2005, in the Championship!

Theo Walcott celebrates his goal.

Theo Walcott celebrates his goal. Photograph: Tom Jenkins/The Guardian

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57 min “In keeping with the footballers with the same name topic tonight, not technically on topic but remember that both John Collins and Collins John both wore the Fulham colours with distinction. Given my name, I have good reason to recall!” says Jonathan Collins.

55 min Back to Newcastle songs, I was recently introduced to this.

53 min Neves slides a ball to Ait-Nouri outside him and the cross is a goodun, but skids across Jimenez’s forehead when he might easily have butted it home.

52 min Nice from Ait-Nouri, dashing inside and finding Podence, who stands up Vestergaard and looks to go inside, then once the defender’s weight is shifted, drags the ball down the outside to crump a shot that McCarthy beats behind (for a corner which comes to nowt).

51 min Another flash of Traore, veering outside Bertrand, hitting the line, and digging out a cross that’s just too strong for those hitting the box.

50 min “Not quite the same I know,” apologises Jimmy, “but Liam O’Brien and Andy O’Brien have both scored in Tyne-Wear derbies for Newcastle, leading to the fantastic terrace ditty: ‘Liam O’Brien, Andy O’Brien, any, any, any O’Brien. Who put the ball in the Mackem’s net? O’Brien, O’Brien.’”

I love that. Liam is also famous for achieving the fastest red card in Man United’s history, after 90 seconds against Southampton. Sadly, YouTube is silent on the matter.

49 min Wolves win a free-kick down the right which Moutinho curls in and it’s a decent effort too, but Dendoncker can only waft it past the post. He was offside anyhow.

48 min Podence reminds me a little of Harvey Barnes, an electric ball who looks like he might, someday, become unstoppable. He wriggles between two challenges, but just as he looks to set himself for a shot, Vestergaard challenges.

47 min “I can’t be the only pedant to point out a light year is a unit of distance not time,” says Aidan Thomas. “Surely.”

Yes, physics is not my strong point but I did know that – but it takes a while to travel one, is my understanding. I might well be wrong, though.

46 min Kilman and Boly have sapped side, so Kilman is now on the left, where you’d expect him to be.

46 min We go again.

“What about two Mous(s)a Dembeles,” says Richard Hirst. “Fulham’s claim to fame.”

I can think of a few others.

Half-time email: “The MMA moralising about cuss words reminds me of this Bill Hicks bit,” returns Niall Mullen. “Contains industrial language.”

To say nothing of the various political interests involved in things – superbly covered by the Guardian’s Karim Zidane.

Half-time: Wolverhampton Wanderers 0-0 Southampton

These sides are pretty evenly matched. Alex McCarthy has made the better saves, but Walcott and Armstrong could easily have scored for Southampton.

45+1 min Traore looks to challenge Djnepo, over-stretching and introducing studs to metatarsus. He’s booked.

Djenepo is down, Adama Traore is booked.

Djenepo is down, Adama Traore is booked. Photograph: Tom Jenkins/The Guardian

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45 min There’ll be one added minute.

44 min Neves is fractionally late on Romeu and earns the first yellow card of the evening, which is ironic because

Trevor Brooking didn’t get many with ‘is ‘ead
the foul for which he avoided a booking was definitely worse.

43 min A few minutes ago, Sky apologised for any “industrial language” we might’ve heard, which has exercised Gary Naylor. “All these apologies for ‘industrial language,” he says. “From about the age of 7 until 47, every match I saw on TV was soundtracked by crowds singing (perfectly audibly) “You’re gonna get your *expletive* heads kicked in”.

I particularly enjoy these apologies during MMA fights, when you’re watching people kick each other in the face and choke each other unconscious, but can’t handle a four-letter word.

42 min Romeu carries it forward and lifts a ball over the top for Walcott, who frantically tries to bend his run, but it’s to no avail and the flag goes up.

41 min The game hasn’t quite sparked yet, but both sides could easily have scored a couple.

39 min “The two Gary Stevens chant reminds me that Brighton fans used to sing ‘there’s only two Kerry Mayos’,” emails Ben Mimmack, “after their long-time defender married a woman called Kerry.”

That’s excellent.

38 min “I love a battle of the ‘Hamptons,” says Niall Mullen.

37 min The corner comes to nowt.

36 min Moutinho swings in a tasty ball and Podence does brilliant to get up, contorting his body to flick a header goalwards and at pace. But again, McCarthy is right there, flicking it over the bar with his right hand.

Southampton keeper Alex McCarthy makes the save.

Southampton keeper Alex McCarthy makes the save. Photograph: Marc Atkins/Getty Images

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35 min Here we go! Traore gets on the ball and eases onto the gas, thrumming past Djnepo and Bertrand, so Vestergaard fouls him. Free-kick Wolves, outside the box, right flank.

34 min Southampton are finding it easier to pick holes in Wolves than vice-versa, which I guess you’d expect given Wolves have changed formation for the first time in an aeon, and are missing Coady for the first time in a trillion light years.

32 min That was not unlike this, save its most important aspect.

31 min Lovely from Wolves, Ward-Prowse into Adams who takes it beautifully, opening his body to slide a fine pass in behind for Armstrong running onto it. And he stretches into a shot which races only just wide.

30 min Traore filches the ball from Romeo on sets off on one his sojourns across the face of the Southampton defence, eventually firing a shot against Armstrong – who’s playing pretty centrally – and the ball runs through to McCarthy.

29 min “There’s only two Gary Stevens,” emails Simon Kaplan. “Memorable chant by England fans at Mexico 86 when both were on the field in the games against Morocco and Paraguay.”

Gary of Everton was a really good player. I was never quite sure what Gary of Spurs was meant to offer.

27 min Walcott looks to run away from Neves and is summarily hauled down. Ward-Prowse will curl towards the back-post, but Wolves clear easily enough.

25 min On this penalty thing, the law needs amending and also needs drafting properly – so says the ex-lawyer in me – but if we just altered the laws so that you only get a penalty if the infringement prevents a goalscoring opportunity, whether inside or outside the box. Anything else inside is a direct free-kick.

23 min In comes three free-kick, causing minor panic as the ball bounces about and there’s a quiet shout for a penalty when Vestergaard’s header down plays Semedo’s arm. But sensibly, the officials say no – though I’d not have been surprised if they’d said yes.

23 min Walker-Peters nashes forward, inhaling to squeeze between Dendoncker and Ait-Nouri; the former brings him down.

20 min But here comes Adams, bullocking at Kilman – he’s playing with such confidence now, and it’s great to see. Kilman, meanwhile, looks to have his body in an awkward position, but does really well to stay on his feet as long as possible before sliding in to confiscate possession.

19 min By and large, the teams are cancelling each other out; they’re both very well-organised, the there’s not a lot to choose between the players, especially because we’ve barely seen Traore and Jimenez so far.

17 min Hasenhuttl gave his players four days off during the international break, which sounds like a smart move. The energy he demands of them isn’t easy to provide.

15 min Nice from Southampton, Armstrong appearing centrally and considering a shot, before coaxing a really good ball in behind to meet the run of Walcott, who rearranges his feet nicely. But he doesn’t quite catch the shot that he’s set up, allowing Rui Patricio to make a smart save; if he’d parried not held, Adams wouldn’t snaffled the rebound.

13 min Wolves knock it along the back four – ! – and Southampton don’t really press.

12 min “You make a good point about this Wolves team,” emails Stephen Carr. “The spine in particular is a match for pretty much any side in the league.”

They could maybe do with a bit more power in the middle of midfield, but yes, they’e got a lot going on.

11 min I’m watching this without crowd noise because I want to hear what the players hear, so if they piped noise into the grounds, I’d listen to that. Was that something they considered?

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